Wednesday, January 28, 2004
4:34 PM
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My Addictions

One of my favourite things.

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10:07 AM
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DON'T NEED THE SUN TO SHINE TO MAKE ME SMILES

Today it's raining. After a few days having a hot boiling temperature of 35 degrees (or maybe higher in Tronoh - the ore mining area) it actually raining. It's start with a small dropping in the afternoon and now it beginning to rain "cats and dogs". I have to walk all the way from the lecture hall (it's my only lecture session for today. how nice :)) in pocket C to Village 4 in the rain and although my endless efforts to run I arrived at my village drenched to my skin. After having a nice lunch I when to academic block to get the Graduation Audit Form as well as my transcript. By filling those forms I’m officially become one of the student that going to graduate in August. Haha... that’s a nice thought as well as scary..
Here I am sitting at my desk in my room staring at the view outside my window. I got the room with the best view in UTP this semester, a nice green field with dark green trees around it and endless blue sky completing this picturesque scenery. Everything seems blurry because of the rain. The smell of the fresh cut grass that mix with the rain had always been my favorite smell and it is very relaxing. All my worries and problems just fade away in a few seconds. Well you don’t need a sun to make you smile..
p/s-
Don't need a rocket man
to help me touch the sky
I don't need to fly a plane
To get this high
Don't need to hitch a ride
When I could run a million miles
Don't need the sun to shine
To make me smile
Don't care if it's dark outside
'Cause I've got you
And though the rain may fall
No I won't care at all
~~taken from Gabrielle

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9:11 AM
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A friend sends me an e-mail recently. I found that the content of that e-mail is very enriching. So here a portion of the e-mail. I’m glad to share it with you guys.

“We need to keep balance in our work, in our family life and in time because all aspects of our life are important, without a balance, you become addicted and like all addictions you lose:

* no balance with your family - you lose them
* no balance with your work - you lose your perspective and
you actually lose focus on the important aspects of your job.
* no balance with yourself - you forget who you are and when you
retire you have nothing!

Who we are is NOT what we do to make a living. Who we are is a balance of our family,our work & ourselves!"”

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Tuesday, January 27, 2004
6:43 AM
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BILE BERCERITA TENTANG UTP..

Masa mula mula kampus baru UTP siap aku adalah antara orang yang tak abih abih dok cakap "cantiknye kampus kite". Kalau nak dikire kan kalau berjalan kaki la dari lecture hall sampai ke village ader la dalam +-6 kali ayat tu keluar dari mulut aku.Mase tu perasaan kekaguman sangat tinggi sampai member-member semua cakap "takpe la kalo tak kite yang puji siape lagik..heheh"~~dgn ertikata lain dalam hati diaorang bilela budak nie nak senyap..takde citer lain ke!!~~So tiba tiba aku rasa bertanggungjawab pulak nak memperkenalkan kampus UTP pade semua.Bagi budak budak UTP anda bersabarla sket dengan kerenah saye ye..*wink*


direction?


Ini plak gambar kat kampus baru.Kat tepi taman die.


So itulah antara snapshot area die UTP.Banguann kampus baru UTP tu binaannya mostly glass so kalo kite concentrate time lecturer mengajar ke,tido ke atau pun berangan angan..hehe..memang boleh dilihat dr luar oleh orang-orang lain.That's all for now kalau ader request lagi suruh aku advertise kampus UTp tu nanti aku upload gambar gambar lain.Till now..chiow *wink*

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Monday, January 26, 2004
5:30 PM
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MY TOOTHPASTE STORY
it's been a week back to campus. Everythings are the same except for my title as a 'final years student'.BUt thats not what i want to talk about in this posting.Well whenever we get back to campus we have this "pre-back to campus thing"where we bought all sort of new things such as clothes,toiletries,bed sheet and etc. Usually I stick to the same brand of every of my thing but this time I change the flavour of my toothpaste.It's surprise me most of how a small change make a big diffrent in everyday life!The smell of the toothpaste(the brand remain anonymous) is tolerable but the taste of it make me wanna throw out everytime I'm brushing.I did throw out for the first few attempts. And what makes matter worst is the feeling of the toothpaste on my teeth and the after smell of the toothpaste in my mouth after brushing is tormenting me for the rest of the day.I felt uneasy to speak with other people and i've been eating lots of mint candy becouse of that and that nearly cause me a sore throat.You probably think that i'm exaggerating a small issues but to tell the thruth my body do resist to change but it flexible enough to except it and go with the flow.After endless attempts my brushing session turn out to be not bad at all.The bad taste gradually change to a much pleasing and tolerable taste.This small event bring me back to life that we lead every other day.We normally resist changes that we face everyday whether we realize it or not but then we slowly began to accept it and try to adapt to the changes.At first it may feel akward but slowly we began to fell comfortable with it. At some point we will realize that change can be good to us.Changes open a variety of option for us to choose. It also change our way of looking at life and making decision.It's altered our perception and make us looking at the world like we never have look before.

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4:09 PM
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correction --my bday was yesterday 26th Jan

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4:08 PM
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mmmm..it's my birthday today..i'm 22 years old now.quite a lady I guess ~~hehehe~~It's a nice thing actually to celebrate our birthday.It is a way for us to appreciate ourselves.It also a pit stop in life where we analyze and try to make sense of what we have done,lost and achieve between our birthday.As for me I am bless with great friends and relatives around me. Cards,greetings,birthday cake,present and nice dinner~~nyum..nyum~~It is nice to realize at some points of life that we belong to somethings and realize that there's a lots of people around us who care so much that you should not takes your own life for granted. To all my friends,cousins,relatives and everyone(I'm afraid to put in names here..i might miss out some names ) you guys know who you are..thanks alot.Thanks for being a part of my life and without you guys my life will never being as great as this.Luv you all

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Friday, January 16, 2004
6:07 PM
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terlalu perlahankan langkah ku
hingga tak terikutkan rentak irama yang mengiringi
atau pantas sangatkah gerak ku
hingga terabai segala rasa yang patutnya di nikmati
mujur aku sedar untuk berhenti
atur kan kembali langkah dengan rentak yang sedikit perlahan

kerana aku ingin menikmati apa yang ada
sebelum segalanya hilang
tiada di samping ku nanti.....

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Thursday, January 15, 2004
5:25 PM
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MY WRITING CYCLE
It had been a while since I write. It is not that I’m lazy or I forget that I have a blog~~did I? ~~it just that I am a writer that write by pulse. I write whenever I feel like or want to write. It’s all about timing. When the timing is right and ideas are flowing then I’ll write. Seem like today is "da day". :)
Actually I do write something just now kira sekajang kertas la dah di taip...But just by one mistake, one bad move everything that I write just gone...deleted! Mmm...I try to rewrite it back but as I say I’m a writer that write by pulse I just can't do it I can't redo my on work. Takde feel. It just not the same. And here I am struggling to write again. Back to square one.
I’ve been thinking that once I do love to write. I started to write from primary school although the story seem to be a little farfetched all the knight in shining armour, rescue princess, live happily ever after and all other stuff~~I don’t have to write you all know better right?>wink<~~That’s because I am so much influenced by all the fairy tales story Malay folks stories and all. But then as I grew older I keep continuing to write and my imaginations do expand by time. In secondary school I wrote short stories on school life. I done a couples of stories some I let the public read and judge but some I keep for private collection~~hehe..too personal to let anyone read it! ~~There I was living in my small dreamland with my stories and imagination. Perhaps that’s why I never had a problem to write essay for my English and Malay language papers. So full with ideas!!!.I write and write and write stories on and on. It had been some sort of therapy for me. I write when I’m in my happiest time in life so that I won’t forget, I write at my lowest point in live as a reminder for me, I write when I lost the person I love, I write when I met new person in my life and anything that came across my mind.. My ideas for my stories started to change thru time where I gradually shift my story theme from a typical straight forward school life story that everybody like and dream to experience to something much more deep and serious. I start to write something about life, feeling, human thought, human right and any sort of thing that happened around the world everyday. My tastes for books also change. Instead of reading fictional stories only I start to expand my scope of reading to books on serious issues as well as real life stories. As I grew older~~and perhaps wiser~~I start to write this kind of stories that makes me reach deep into my own soul and knowing myself as I never knew it before.
But then at one point of time I start to lose the ‘touch’. Back in my secondary school my friends used to say that I have some sort of ‘touch’ to my stories that make it so ‘original’ and real. Something that come straight from my heart. I try to write but I seem that nothing is coming out of my head. I used to stared at a blank paper so long but manage to write only a words and sometimes when I’m lucky I manage to write a paragraph before I when blank again. It always puzzles me though… am I losing my muse? coz at that time I do feel kind of lonely and lost. I’m stuck to the memory of my old days where finishing my secondary school also means finishing my relationship with special people that meant so much in my life. Some of them I don’t even realize because I’ve been taking things for granted at that point of time. And I never write after that.
Well in cycle of life things that goes around comes around. I write...I don’t and I’m start writing again. Finally I manage to break free from the ‘cocoon of old memories’. I become a fresh new butterfly beginning a new life after being a caterpillar for a long time. With fresh ideas and new perception for life I begin to write not for anyone but for ME.**Thanks Aida for encouraging me!

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